Literary Agent Offers: Don’t Settle!

You’ve perfected your query letter, done your agent research, and sent your letters to a targeted list. You’ve crossed your fingers, rubbed the genie lamp, kissed your lucky troll doll. You’ve gotten requests, sent out partials, sent out fulls. You may have even suffered a few (or many) rejections along the way.

But then… what’s this?

An offer from a literary agent to represent and sell your work?

Congratulations! An agent! A real agent! You’re on the road to publication! He’ll sell your book for millions of dollars! She’ll rocket you to best-sellerdom! He’ll get you on Oprah’s couch with the literary elite! You’ll thank her in your acknowledgments and become BFFs for life! Right?

Not.
So.
Fast.

Making an Impression

As writers, we spend a lot of time trying to make a good impression on potential agents with our polished prose, personality, and professionalism. We’re so excited (rightfully so!) when an agent responds to our efforts—especially if we’ve already endured a few (dozen) (hundred) rejections—that we forget one very important point:

An agent interested in representing your book should work just as hard to impress you.

If an agent makes an offer, she’s already excited about you and your writing. She’s in love with your book, and believes she can sell it. She probably already has editors in mind that will love the project as much as she does. See? Your good impression was a success!

Now, it’s her turn.

Your agent works for you, and should have your career and best interests in mind always. Accepting her offer is the beginning of a long partnership—one that you must consider as seriously as you would any long-term commitment or career decision. Enter it with both eyes open.

Pre-Literary Counseling

I don’t know what the author/agent divorce rate is these days, but I bet it’s higher than failed marriages and, in some cases, more complicated. The souring of a literary partnership isn’t always predictable, but having an honest, two-way conversation up front might help you avoid future drama.

Before accepting representation from an agent:

• Thank him for the interest in your work.
• Let him know that you’re excited about the opportunity to work together.
• Tell him that you’d like to take a few days to think things over and prepare your questions.

Don’t skip this crucial step because you’re worried that questions will scare him off, or that the offer won’t last. This isn’t a TV promo, it’s a potential business partnership. His offer is on the table, waiting patiently for your consideration and ultimate response. It’s not going anywhere unless the offer or the agent isn’t legitimate, in which case, that’s not the person you want representing your work.

Questions to Ask Literary Agents

Craft questions to help you learn about the following:

1. Working and communication style. Some agents offer more personal attention and career development than others. Some are heavily involved in the editorial and revision process, while others are more interested in selling and contract negotiation and will not spend a lot of time reviewing your work. Certain agents encourage you to call them informally and often, while others will rely more on email communications or scheduled appointments. What do you prefer? Don’t enter a relationship with someone whose working and communication style will overwhelm you, confuse you, or leave you wanting more.

2. Ideal clients. Ask the agent to describe her ideal client. Of course it will be you, but beyond that, get specifics. This will give you another perspective on her working style and help you determine whether you’ll be a good fit. If the agent likes clients who are highly involved in brainstorming ideas for their next projects and career path, but you’d prefer someone who just focuses on contracts and managing the author/editor relationship, this agent isn’t for you. Similarly, if you’re looking for a lot of hand-holding and the agent tells you she likes clients who leave her alone to do her job, that’s not a match.

3. Client load. The number of clients an agent has and wants will impact his time. Some have as many as 60 (or more!) clients to manage. If you want an agent who can provide personal attention and a more hands-on approach, look for agents with fewer clients.

4. References. Ask the agent to put you in touch with some of his current clients. You can ask them for firsthand accounts on what it’s like to work with the agent before and after the sale. You can also look at the blogs and Web sites of the agent’s clients to see if they’ve said anything about their agent experience. If an agent is reluctant to provide you with at least one client reference, be wary!

5. Sales and non-sales. You should have a good idea of the agent’s track record for selling books before you query him or her, but you can ask about additional details after you’ve received an offer. Understand how the agent treats your manuscript if it doesn’t sell—does she set it aside and get ready to shop around your next project? Does she revisit the original project later or help you revise for another round of submissions? Or does she drop you as a client if she can’t sell it in a certain time frame?

6. Genres / specialties and co-agents. You may query an agent with your adult historical fiction manuscript, but what if you decide to write a middle grade novel in the future? Non-fiction? A paranormal romance? A teen guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse? Ask the agent if she represents other genres you may be considering and if not, if she has a partner, co-agent, or referral for you, should you decide to write something different. There’s nothing wrong with using a second agent if your primary agent doesn’t represent what you want to do next, but it’s an important question to ask before you sign on.

7. Finances. Most agents will take the standard 15% fee from the monies that you earn (may be higher for foreign rights or other special circumstances). Be sure you understand the rate, and ask about how the money is distributed. Generally, the publisher will send your advance and royalty money to the agency, which will cut you a new check, less their 15%. Ask about how (and how often) your money is managed and distributed.

8. Breaking up. No one wants to think about ending a relationship before it even begins, but asking about it now could save you and your agent heartache (and legal fees) in the future. Find out about the agency contract and how and when either party can dissolve it. Also, ask about what happens if your agent leaves the agency, is unable to work due to illness, injury, or death, or if the agency itself dissolves.

It’s tempting to give an instant YES to that well-earned agent offer, but remember, an agent making an offer is already interested in you. She’s not going to change her mind just because you’re asking questions or taking a few days to think about it. Just the opposite, actually. By doing your homework, you’re showing potential agents that you’re professional, committed, and serious about your writing career—all qualities that make you a better client.

Danger! Bad Agent Warning Signs

If the agent you’re considering exhibits any of these behaviors, get thyself back to the querying board:

• The agent is uncomfortable or terse in answering your questions, or responds with canned marketing-speak designed to evade your research.
• She’s reluctant or refuses to provide client references.
• He makes you feel like you’re wasting his time or like he’s doing you a favor, or he pressures you into making a hasty decision.
• She charges a fee to read, consider, or submit your work, or charges more than the standard 15% fee for domestic sales.
• He charges for or refers you to a paid editing service or “book doctor,” or charges for these services in-house.
• The agent or agency is listed on Writer Beware’s Thumbs Down Agency List or has a negative rating on Preditors & Editors: Literary Agents.

You should also Google the agent and agency’s name to scope out any bad press or client comments about them. If you do find any negatives, evaluate them carefully, considering the source and not jumping to conclusions. One ranted-about experience doesn’t mean the agent is bad or even at fault. But if you find numerous complaints or warnings, you probably want to steer clear.

A Not-So-Perfect Union

Even with your questions sufficiently answered and agency contract signed, sealed, and delivered, stuff might happen. Your book doesn’t sell. Your agent doesn’t responded to your emails. You’re having problems with your editor and your agent hasn’t stepped up to mediate. You’ve experienced a misunderstanding or miscommunication, or someone has made an outright screw-up.

Like in any relationship, things aren’t always sweet and rosy. It doesn’t mean that you have a bad agent, that you’re a bad client, or that it’s time for a divorce. It just means that you need to pick up the phone. Be open and honest with your agent about how you’re feeling, and see if you can find some common ground.

It’s unrealistic to expect constant perfection, but you should expect a willingness to communicate and a commitment to resolve issues as they arise. Sometimes what feels like an insurmountable obstacle turns out to be a laughable misunderstanding. Sometimes it doesn’t. But either way, it’s worth checking out before you make a hasty decision.

Ultimately, if you do decide to part ways, let your agent know that your seeking other representation before you jump ship. This is a business and should be treated respectfully, even if you’re the only one being respectful. If the partnership isn’t working and you just can’t reach an agreement, be honest about your intended departure and try to leave on good terms.

An Affirmation to Remember

If you’ve got an agent offer, that means you’ve achieved what most people never will—you’ve written an entire book. It didn’t happen overnight, and you’ve certainly poured a lot of blood into it. Give yourself and your hard-earned accomplishment the respect you both deserve—don’t settle for the wrong agent just because she’s the first to show an interest in your work. There are hundreds–possibly thousands—of hard-working, dedicated, talented agents out there waiting for your query.

This is your writing career, your passion, and possibly your life’s dream. Take your time, do your homework, and find the right agent to represent you. You deserve it!

Days 5 & 6: Life’s Little Surprises

Day 5 didn’t have to work very hard to surpass the bar set by Day 4. I mean, watching back-to-back episodes of Saved by the Bell (back before A.C. Slater was in A Chorus Line) would have been better than Day 4.

But the universe works in mysterious ways, yin and yang and all, and Day 5 turned out to be the Best NYC Retreat Day Ever.

First, I headed over the the West Side for an iced latte and a long meeting with my agent, who is fabulous and well-suited to soothe my neurotic, insecure, self-inflicted writing freak-outs (despite the Jack Nicholson comment, which was well-deserved and directed more at my questionable mental health than my writing). Not once did he look across the patio cafe table and say, “Sarah, it’s great that you’re in New York and can call on me whenever you need to chat. So, do you miss Denver? Do you ever think about moving back? Maybe you should? Do you need any help packing?”

Faith in my chosen career path (and associated life’s dream, driving passion, singular raison d’être, etc.) restored, I headed to Barnes & Noble for a fix. Five fixes, actually, including Christopher Moore’s LAMB and a book for Alex.

Hey, you say “obsession,” I say “research!”

After the book indulgence—er, research investment, I had to get back to the East Side and thought I’d walk through Central Park. You’d think it would be a pretty simple task to walk straight across a big green rectangle, but…

Those of you who know me won’t be shocked when I say that I got totally lost—er, turned around. Off the path. For an hour and a half.

But getting totally lost in Central Park turned out to be a great idea.

Life’s Little Surprises (the good kind)

A turtle! But not just any turtle. This is a New York turtle.

“Are you talkin’ to me? Oh, I’m funny, huh? Like a turtle-clown, huh? I’m here to amuse you?”

I didn’t take the bait. Despite his tough exterior, this CPW turtle is a big softie on the inside.

Go read that last part again.

Ha! (Thank you, thank you, I’m here all week…)

I loved watching this fountain scene from an unnoticeable distance. The photo is kind of scattered, but if you look closely (or click on it for a larger view), you can see how much is happening and just imagine what people are thinking and talking about, paths crossing, all connected for a single moment by the fountain.

First, there’s hula hoop 101—so random. So cool.

And, what’s got these two so engrossed?

Oh, right. She was actually bending over and twirling (not at the same time), but I opted for the wholesome family shot instead.

After watching paths cross at the fountain for a bit, I thought I’d finally found the right path to the East Side. I walked another several minutes, only to end up… right back on the West Side, ten blocks south of my original departure (and planned arrival) street.

That’s when I stumbled onto the best little surprise on my wandering journey through the park.

Listen to what it says. Really listen.

It’s a good directive for us neurotic writers. And everyone else, too.

And in the end…

This evening, my 6th NYC retreat day, I packed it in a day early and headed back to Queens. I was missin’ on my husband, and ready to come home. I’m not finished with book 2 yet, but that’s okay—I got a lot of writing done and reveled in the relatively uninterrupted solitude as planned.

Despite day 4’s katsaridaphobic¹ meltdown, my NYC writers retreat brought me to a place of peace with this book. When it’s ready to be finished, I know it will be… and then it’s on to the next one.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I can’t handle that much pressure!

---

1. Katsaridaphobia: fear of cockroaches! Ewwwww!

Retreat Day 4: Writing is Glam!

Yesterday, after suffering odd morning-dreams about people destroying my friend’s apartment with sledge hammers, I awoke to three strange men wielding power tools (TSMWPT). They were replacing my friend’s oven which, as I learned, is an all-day operation. They also took over the entire kitchen, forcing me across the street for coffee and a bagel. I love toasted everything bagels with cream cheese and tomatoes, so that was cool, except for the part where New York City is like out of tomatoes on account of salmonella or something. The guy looked at me like, lady, don’t you read the papers?

Newspapers? Newspapers! Damn it, Bagel Guy, I’m a writer, not a reader!

Anyway, after the oven ordeal, which included an big hole in the office wall with lots of wires and metal things poking out that I was ordered not to touch (right, and I was just thinking, “what do these wires do? What would happen if I twisted them together with my fork while blow-drying my hair and standing in a wash-basin full of water?”), I was finally rid of the TSMWPTs and ready to cook a nice dinner.

Ok, this next part is really gross and embarrassing so we’re going ESPN extreme highlights on this one.

*Begin movie guy announcer voice*

In a world where solitary writers go too long without contact from the outside…

• Me: La la la, I’m making yummy dinner, la la la. I’m going to—wait, what the f*** was that?
• CR: *Scampers across kitchen floor.* No, no scampers is the wrong word. Saunters is better. *Saunters across the kitchen floor.*
• Me: What the f***?!!!! *Jumps on one foot repeatedly to reduce surface area of body touching its potential path*
• CR: Hi! I’m the world’s biggest cockroach. And I am here to f*** you up. Booooo!
• Me: What the f***?!!! OMG are you talking to me?
• CR: Yes! And now is the part where I stalk you! *Stalk stalk stalk*
• Me: Are you following me? Ewwwwww! Arhhhhhhhh! Why are you so big? Get away from me you f***ing many-legged exo-skeletal freak!
• CR: You can run, but you can’t hide! *Stalk stalk stalk*
• Me: *Has nervous breakdown, complete with full body sweat, the shakes, heart palpitations, crying, calling husband*
• Alex: Bims, I’m seriously worried about you. *Offers complex kill strategy involving trapping, mushing, and scraping*
• CR: Let’s see what happens if I go over here. *Saunter saunter saunter*
• Me: It’s chasing me! Ewwwww ewww ewww it’s going to mate and multiply and crawl all over me in my sleep!
• CR: Boo! Hahahah! I am going to eat you.
• Alex: Just get a newspaper and—
• Me: Arhhhhhh!!!! Ewwww! *Hangs up on Alex. Dials Pook, who is playing pool around the corner.*
• Pook: What up? You wanna meet for a drink?
• Me: Okay okay okay I know I’m crazy but you have to get here like right now oh my god f*** just get here okay f***ing now please?
• Pook: What happened? Are you all right?
• Me: There’s this giant crawly thing and he’s brown and shiny and stalking me and—
• Pook: Are you f***ing serious?
• CR: Wow, you really are ridiculous. Boo! *Stalk stalk stalk*
• Me: Get here! I’m hyperventilating!
• Pook: Hahahahaha okay, be right over (and by the way, sack up, you whiny bitch).

So, um, ya, my brother had to leave his pool game to come and do a perimeter sweep, which was sadly unsuccessful, and I was so creeped out that I couldn’t eat my dinner until like 2 hours later, and it’s all because the TSMWPT displaced this giant South American poisonous hissing cockroach when they put in the new oven. By the time I could go to sleep without freaking out about the bug, the sun was up and I then convinced myself that someone was in the apartment and I actually dialed 9-1-1 and had my finger hovering over the SEND button because I just knew that when I opened the door I’d see a murderer, a rapist, and a giant cockroach, and the roach would laugh and turn to the others and say, “See? I told you she was here all alone.”

When I told my agent parts of this story today, he just nodded and smiled looked at me in his patient, understanding, I’m-used-to-dealing-with-fruitloops-all-day way and said, “You’ve become Jack Nicholson in The Shining.”

Heeeeeeeere’s Sarah!

Just another day in the glamorous life of a writer in New York.

NYC Writers Retreat, Day 2

The view from last year’s Grand Lake retreat:

The view from this year’s NYC retreat:

Not the most pleasant retreat weather here in New York today, but the storms are working hard to keep me inside and writing. I love listening to the rain on the street, the shush of the cars, the occasional laughing scream as someone who forgot her umbrella runs for cover. The thunder rattles the windows, and though I have to keep my computer unplugged during the lightning show, I do love hearing the sky fall.

Last night, I had the A/C on in the bedroom and started hearing noises. I know it was probably rain and thunder, but in the moment, I was pretty sure someone was trying to break in (despite the fact that this is a doorman building and someone would basically have to scale the wall and smash a window to enter without my permission). You know how it is when you’re staying in a new place—you have to readjust to all the new creaks, moans, groans, thumps, and rattles that differ in every home and don’t seem to show themselves until the late evening. I was jolted awake in two-minute intervals until about 5:30 this morning, so I’m getting a late start today. But I’m expecting the writing to go well and my sleep to come a bit easier later.

Better than being stuck out there, cold and umbrella-less!

NYC Writers Retreat, Day 1

Around this time last summer, still a resident of Colorado, I spent a week at the Shadowcliff Lodge for the Lighthouse Writers Grand Lake Retreat. Seven days of immersive writing workshops, seven nights of equally important immersive writing tomfoolery. In Grand Lake, I worked on 20 BOY SUMMER revisions for my agent, after which the manuscript went on to achieve great things. It’s also where I met Rachel, Lisa, and lots of other new writing pals. The Shadowcliff Lodge and all of the Lighthouse writers and faculty have a special place in my writing heart.

I wanted to go again this summer, but skyrocketing airfares (Delta is even adding a fuel surcharge for supposedly free award tickets!) and timing issues will keep me in New York City.

Those little snags won’t, however, keep me from enjoying my own writer’s retreat here in Manhattan. My friends are on vacation in the Tetons, and I’ve taken over their home for an entire blissful, solo, writing-filled, not-sure-I’m-gonna-give-it-back-when-they-return week. Unlike the Lighthouse retreat, the Manhattan retreat requires me to cook my own food and doesn’t have:

“…a wonderful chance for you to forge a supportive and stimulating community, a collective spirit to help reinvigorate your writing voice. And a chance to work with excellent writers and teachers…” —Lighthouse Writers Workshop

But here, I get to people watch when I need character ideas, and my retreat is, well, free. And I have many unrestricted hours in which to write, write, write, and more write. If I stay focused (so, ya, don’t call me or anything), I might actually be able to finish book 2… this week!

I guess I’d better get to it.